What you've written here needs to be said over and over and over again until any power left in negative views about cancer and people with cancer is flooded out by experience and understanding. That is the only way to shift these antiquated and ignorant beliefs. It is an underlying belief that we still give credence and power to, that having cancer is somehow a 'moral' issue, either because of habit or lifestyle, when we keep it secret. While some cancers might (I have to say 'might', because no one really knows) have their beginnings in behaviours, this is not always the case. Cancer lives in all of us, and then there is a 'trigger' that says 'stop responding to the brakes', and there it goes. Maybe that is where the reluctance to confront or the 'othering', lives, in the fear that 'that could be me'. They are right, of course; cancer could be something they experience. It is something many people face at some point in their lifetime. I hope for them that they find courage and resilience as you have shown. And honesty. Because again, that is the only way to change anything.
Slightly different, I know, but I was initially hesitant to be public and open about my Parkinson's diagnosis for many reasons. I'm glad that I chose to be open about it but it did cost me my job which was a scary time with 2 young kids to worry about.
I kept mine as secret as I could for almost 2 years. That was my way to retain the locus of control. I think if I had cancer pre-tenure I would have hid it much longer and more carefully.
And of course, it should absolutely be your privilege to maintain secrecy as a personal mechanism for feeling in control of your life. Where it goes wrong is where you feel it's actually necessary because of how you believe other people will regard or treat you.
What you've written here needs to be said over and over and over again until any power left in negative views about cancer and people with cancer is flooded out by experience and understanding. That is the only way to shift these antiquated and ignorant beliefs. It is an underlying belief that we still give credence and power to, that having cancer is somehow a 'moral' issue, either because of habit or lifestyle, when we keep it secret. While some cancers might (I have to say 'might', because no one really knows) have their beginnings in behaviours, this is not always the case. Cancer lives in all of us, and then there is a 'trigger' that says 'stop responding to the brakes', and there it goes. Maybe that is where the reluctance to confront or the 'othering', lives, in the fear that 'that could be me'. They are right, of course; cancer could be something they experience. It is something many people face at some point in their lifetime. I hope for them that they find courage and resilience as you have shown. And honesty. Because again, that is the only way to change anything.
Slightly different, I know, but I was initially hesitant to be public and open about my Parkinson's diagnosis for many reasons. I'm glad that I chose to be open about it but it did cost me my job which was a scary time with 2 young kids to worry about.
I kept mine as secret as I could for almost 2 years. That was my way to retain the locus of control. I think if I had cancer pre-tenure I would have hid it much longer and more carefully.
And of course, it should absolutely be your privilege to maintain secrecy as a personal mechanism for feeling in control of your life. Where it goes wrong is where you feel it's actually necessary because of how you believe other people will regard or treat you.