Guy, this article brought me to tears. This lack of respect, because that is what it is, is perpetuated by medical personnel against patients of all sorts when they just want to treat your body and not have to deal with your mind or emotions. I won't say it is always so. However, I've experienced this lack of information and understanding, and so have many others I know. When I had my hysterectomy, no one told me I'd feel hollowed out or that sex would forever after feel much, much less fulfilling. I mourned this for years. I think the tears this time are a renewal of that mourning. Grief isn't linear. Sex is life. Don't let anyone tell you that it's no big deal; we all have to advocate for ourselves, get second opinions, demand the information and squeamishness be damned.
I hear your frustration at the end there Guy and I can totally resonate with these feelings...and before either of us get totally berated - Thank you NHS and all of the medical/non medical team members that supported my "longevity" on this planet! But for those people that are deciding the training approach in the holistic care of a patient (e.g. diet, exercise etc)...it is worth a relook please! Rant over. Sending strength to your recovery Guy💪🏽
Difficult one; married 40-odd years, and recognised this ingredient bonds a couple through good and bad times. Sex isn't everything though; lots of 'sub orgasmic' ways to renew closeness? As usual you've posted frank and thoughtful view, worth considering. I'm advised a year to purge chemotherapy poisons, but can't comment on radiotherapy as a rather different region is being targeted...
Sex isn't everything, you're quite right Kev - but when something so fundamental to many people's lives changes, it's a lot easier to deal with it if you were prepared and knowledgeable.
This does very much surprise me, as I don't even have yhe aforementioned parts but have come across this risk, quite possibly during my father's treatment. I find it bizarre that anyone would fail to mention it to patients today despite those treated being told 10+ years ago.
There's a special place in Hell for people who withhold data/info/knowledge from scientists & engineers--especially if they themselves are folk of science.
On one hand I get that being straight with patients about the risk to sexual function might drive them underground.
But we are all adults and we *must* take mastery of our lives -- and be given the opportunity to do so. Perhaps instead of hiding information illumination can be provided for a "Path to Agency" where a man can be helped to stare into the darkness and see the path of treatment.
Not like that shit will ever happen in the US healthcare system. Certainly not anymore.
From a Spanish perspective British doctors are notoriously squeamish (over-polite) about talking about sexual organs and sexual function.
I've worked with doctors and medical researchers in Barcelona, many of whom have spent time living and working in the U.K., for more than 15 years — and they roll around laughing when they hear common medical phrases in English such as, "How are your waterworks?", "Back passage…", "Intimate embrace…"etc etc.
Diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago — ten days after having had a heart attack.
Here, they call a spade a spade so to speak.
Given four options for treatment: radiotherapy (meaning an hourly session for five days of every week for four weeks); super-radiotherapy (meaning a two to three hour daily session for one seven-day week with possible chemo on the side); chemo; and cryotherapy.
Me: "So, if I go for radiotherapy…"
Dr.: "You probably won't be able to fuck again… ever."
Me: "Cryo?"
Dr.: "Well, depends. With viagra you might be able to get it up and fuck for three to five minutes once or twice a month, if you're lucky".
Not sure about a conspiracy. I had radiotherapy (pace nodes 2 trial so 5 highly intense sessions over 10 days not 20 over 4 weeks) .Then hormone therapy. I was told from the outset that there would no more ejaculated fluid ( absorbed internally I believe). As I am on a trial I am reviewed every 6 months. Also advised that they would specifically help with any dysfunction issues..
Always asked how that is going, my reply is frequent morning glories but nothing glorious. Actually orgasms are if anything more intense but that could be less frequent nature of things I guess. But hey things ain't what they used to be. See what happens after off HT and testosterone returns. Don't have high expectations.
Totally get your view for you though. PC is a real shit.
Hi Guy, Given how the medical world has treated women over the years, I am not surprised they have failed you (and all men) in this instance. For some reason, there just seems to be a reluctance to treat patients like adults with a brain. I am really sorry you have to experience this further kicking after all you and Mrs G have been through.
Guy, this article brought me to tears. This lack of respect, because that is what it is, is perpetuated by medical personnel against patients of all sorts when they just want to treat your body and not have to deal with your mind or emotions. I won't say it is always so. However, I've experienced this lack of information and understanding, and so have many others I know. When I had my hysterectomy, no one told me I'd feel hollowed out or that sex would forever after feel much, much less fulfilling. I mourned this for years. I think the tears this time are a renewal of that mourning. Grief isn't linear. Sex is life. Don't let anyone tell you that it's no big deal; we all have to advocate for ourselves, get second opinions, demand the information and squeamishness be damned.
I hear your frustration at the end there Guy and I can totally resonate with these feelings...and before either of us get totally berated - Thank you NHS and all of the medical/non medical team members that supported my "longevity" on this planet! But for those people that are deciding the training approach in the holistic care of a patient (e.g. diet, exercise etc)...it is worth a relook please! Rant over. Sending strength to your recovery Guy💪🏽
Difficult one; married 40-odd years, and recognised this ingredient bonds a couple through good and bad times. Sex isn't everything though; lots of 'sub orgasmic' ways to renew closeness? As usual you've posted frank and thoughtful view, worth considering. I'm advised a year to purge chemotherapy poisons, but can't comment on radiotherapy as a rather different region is being targeted...
Sex isn't everything, you're quite right Kev - but when something so fundamental to many people's lives changes, it's a lot easier to deal with it if you were prepared and knowledgeable.
This does very much surprise me, as I don't even have yhe aforementioned parts but have come across this risk, quite possibly during my father's treatment. I find it bizarre that anyone would fail to mention it to patients today despite those treated being told 10+ years ago.
There's a special place in Hell for people who withhold data/info/knowledge from scientists & engineers--especially if they themselves are folk of science.
On one hand I get that being straight with patients about the risk to sexual function might drive them underground.
But we are all adults and we *must* take mastery of our lives -- and be given the opportunity to do so. Perhaps instead of hiding information illumination can be provided for a "Path to Agency" where a man can be helped to stare into the darkness and see the path of treatment.
Not like that shit will ever happen in the US healthcare system. Certainly not anymore.
Godspeed, Professor.
From a Spanish perspective British doctors are notoriously squeamish (over-polite) about talking about sexual organs and sexual function.
I've worked with doctors and medical researchers in Barcelona, many of whom have spent time living and working in the U.K., for more than 15 years — and they roll around laughing when they hear common medical phrases in English such as, "How are your waterworks?", "Back passage…", "Intimate embrace…"etc etc.
Diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago — ten days after having had a heart attack.
Here, they call a spade a spade so to speak.
Given four options for treatment: radiotherapy (meaning an hourly session for five days of every week for four weeks); super-radiotherapy (meaning a two to three hour daily session for one seven-day week with possible chemo on the side); chemo; and cryotherapy.
Me: "So, if I go for radiotherapy…"
Dr.: "You probably won't be able to fuck again… ever."
Me: "Cryo?"
Dr.: "Well, depends. With viagra you might be able to get it up and fuck for three to five minutes once or twice a month, if you're lucky".
It's no comparison Guy, but nobody tells you how a vasectomy will change your orgasm either.
I hope that you find a new normal that is equally, if differently, satisfying.
Not sure about a conspiracy. I had radiotherapy (pace nodes 2 trial so 5 highly intense sessions over 10 days not 20 over 4 weeks) .Then hormone therapy. I was told from the outset that there would no more ejaculated fluid ( absorbed internally I believe). As I am on a trial I am reviewed every 6 months. Also advised that they would specifically help with any dysfunction issues..
Always asked how that is going, my reply is frequent morning glories but nothing glorious. Actually orgasms are if anything more intense but that could be less frequent nature of things I guess. But hey things ain't what they used to be. See what happens after off HT and testosterone returns. Don't have high expectations.
Totally get your view for you though. PC is a real shit.
Hi Guy, Given how the medical world has treated women over the years, I am not surprised they have failed you (and all men) in this instance. For some reason, there just seems to be a reluctance to treat patients like adults with a brain. I am really sorry you have to experience this further kicking after all you and Mrs G have been through.